There are some parents who think they’re helping their children along this road called Life by giving them everything they want – a bit like the Malaysian government that has pampered certain Malaysians for so long.
I’m sure you know of parents who get their children the latest hand phones and cars, and make payment for these items and more. Or perhaps you’re one those parents? If you are, I hope you live long and continue to prosper because if you don’t change your attitudes you are going send your children to an early grave because they will not know how to survive without your support.
It all boils down to the fundamentals – give a person a fish and he eats for a day – teach him how to fish and he eats for a lifetime. Right now, as concerned parents, you think that you must always give your child money and pay for everything – how about getting your teenager to earn their keep. Chores around the house, for neighbors etc are a good start. Get them to wash a few toilets – then at least they’ll know to keep it clean for others.
Don’t be too nice – a firm hand is much better than a taufu one. I know why some of you do this – you say, “Aiyah, I never got this when I was growing up, so I must give my child everything I never had.” The road to hell is paved with good intentions – so stop it.
In giving them all these things you didn’t get when younger, you are not preparing them for the harsh realities of life and will cause them more hurt in the long run.
Don’t live in denial – and don’t make your children live there too. Because what you think will cause a positive effect on your child is going to be one horrible negative. Your generosity may come from love, but in actual fact it’s like a poison arrow aimed straight at your child’s heart. No self-respecting parent would want this and that is love.
5 comments:
I stongly believe that many parents are doing this to their children without realizing the consequences of what's gonna happen to the child's future. I'm fortunate to grow up under the roof where if you want something, you've got to work for it. No FREE stuff..this will make you ready to take up anything. Thanks Ernie..
Oh yea, my parents did just that.. i used to live in abundance and when financial prob started hitting hard at my family ,when my father fell to debts, its was very difficult for us, the children to recover and understand...
it was hell for me and i tend to end up being in deep depression when i have financial problems as i never has to encounter that the first 25 years of my life..
Strongly agreed with Ernie. In fact, if parent keep pampered to their children, they will never learn and want to be independent. Teenager can easily get whatever they want, as a result they never appreciate about what they have.
In my past experience, I started to learn be independence and earned my first income to live when I was studying in US. I learnt to make my own decision and face the problems without my parent support. I felt I went through a fast track learning process within that 2 years. At that time, I was awared how much my parent care about me and contributed to me. From that time onward, I told myself I shouldn't disappointed them anymore. And, looking forward to do something back to them instead.
I am glad I have Madam Khoo! Since I was young, Madam Khoo won't buy any luxury stuff (eg. Nike shoe, handset, playstation and etc.)for me. She just mentioned to me, if you really want it, do something to get it by your ownself. Once you get what you want by own effort. I am sure, you will more appreciate than get it from others. Besides, it was a training. Just like Madam. Khoo train me become indepented. FYI, Madam Khoo is my greatest mum, thank you so much mum!
This is what we'd like to call spoon feed. Something very familiar in the culture of Malaysians. It makes a person lazy and ungrateful. You'll never know what you have until you have lost it.
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